Happy 6th Birthday Vehd!
This portfolio post, like all the others is a reflection. Its a reflection on the earnestness and wonder of childhood. Its the story of my family, a family I love! Its a story of how children and grown-ups learn together. Its a reminder to me, the author, to live each moment with energy, commitment and humility. It is not a story of pride; instead, its a story of the opportunities that come alive in relationship with children, Vehd being just one of them.
It all started one Saturday morning in May 2010. Vehd was just shy of turning 3 years old. We were eating breakfast and reading the news. Spread across the front page of the Times was a picture of the Gulf Oil Spill.Vehd sat up in his chair and asked, "What is that?" I responded with a detailed explanation characteristic of my communication with Vehd. "How did it happen? Why did it happen?", quipped Vehd. Steering away from "who is to blame", I engaged Vehd in the idea that the oil spilt because we drill for oil and that we need oil.
His questions came pouring forth like the oil in the Gulf. "What do we use oil for? How do you and I use it?" This led to a discussion on the use of gasoline products, primarily in the form of fuel for cars.
"The water is polluted now. When we use gasoline as fuel what happens?"
"Cars run and they burn fuel releasing polluting gases into the air. The gases heat up the air. We have been using so much fuel that now the air around the earth is so hot it is beginning to melt the snow."
"Where is the snow melting?"
"Everywhere but especially at the poles. Antarctica and at the Arctic."
"Don't penguins live in Antarctica?"
"Yes, they do."
"What happens to them when the snow melts?"
"What do you think happens?"
"I think they are uncomfortable with the snow melting. They need snow to live. And, I need snow to ski."
On and on. After a while, the questions slowed down but something told me this was not the last time we would be talking about gasoline use.
In early July 2010, on another Saturday morning sitting in almost exactly the same spot as we were back in May 2010, Vehd caught sight of an oil spill in the Yellowstone river on the iPad. He was rivetted and a little scared.
"Now, what is that? Is it oil again?"
"Yes, my love, it is indeed."
"Again?! What is going to happen with all that oil now? Are the birds and animals going to die?"
He choked up. And then came the tears, first in his eyes and then in mine. His tender soul wept. Mine joined in. We sat there, tears streaming down our eyes, holding each other. Dramatic as it sounds in words, it wasn't so in those moments. It was so real. It is so sad, still.
Vehd brushed his tears.
"How do you feel now, Vehd?"
"Very sad. Can we do something? We have to stop using gasoline. That's it!", said the indignant 3 year-old.
"How shall we do that?"
"Well, lets stop driving cars. Cars use gasoline. They cause pollution. That melts the ice. And that makes it hard for me to ski and for the penguins to live and it causes spills. That's it!", he parroted back to me a string of ideas I had shared with him from our previous discussion on gasoline use.
"And, how do you want to help stop driving cars?"
"Hmm ... You know those folks who stand on the bridge by the zoo and that we see on our way to school everyday? Lets make a big sign and stand on the bridge."
"What might your sign say?"
"Don't drive cars. They melt snow. They make it hard for penguins to live."
"That's a great idea. How about a slight change to that idea? How would you like to write that in a letter?"
"Yes! Lets write a letter and send it to everyone we know."
In the next hour, a letter had been dictated and edited. Vehd requested I make a nice letterhead. Thinking back now, I think this was his way of making the letter "serious" and "official". A letterhead logo was designed. The letter was copied on to it and I was asked to make as many copies as I possibly could.
In the coming weeks, we sent out 25 letters to friends and family asking them to think together with us on the ways in which we could reduce gasoline use. The responses came pouring in. Suggestions included planning driving trips better, kayaking to travel and biking. Vehd was rivetted by the idea of biking to commute. It seemed like such a doable idea.
In the midst of all the letters that Vehd received, there was on that discombobulated him. A friend asked Vehd what he thought about this contradiction -- She lives closer to the earth, in the woods, because she loves the earth. But, that also means she has to drive out farther and more to get to places. How can she both love the earth and not drive?" Vehd mulled the contradiction. He wrestled with it for weeks on end. He had no good answer. And that is how it is sometimes -- there are good questions and no answers. Just questions to stay with. This was hard for Vehd.
Biking to commute; that idea stayed with Vehd. Not a new idea by any means but novel and attainable to the 3 year-old. "Take me to school on a bike, just like Levi's dad does," he begged. Vamshi was challenged into this. And so was I. It was humbling and empowering for us to respond to Vehd's requests.
That first week of July 2010, we did a weekend ride. Vamshi took Vehd to school on bike. Vehd's earnest demands only fueled Vamshi's own passion for biking. He was signed up to do the RAMROD (Ride Around Mt. Rainier in One Day -- a 150 mile, 10,000 foot elevation bike ride around Mt. Rainier) at the end of the month. But then came a contradiction that broke Vehd's heart. Vamshi met with a close to fatal accident. Riding his bike one evening he was hit head on by a car. He got away lucky with just a broken femur. Vehd shuddered.
In the year that followed, Vehd saw Vamshi rise from the bed onto crutches and then to a walking stick. By September Vamshi had taken his first steps without the walking stick. By January 2011 he was on the golf course bag on his back. In February he told us he wanted to do the RAMROD that summer. I was nervous as hell. I still remember Vamshi's first ride back on the road in late winter 2011. I sat by my phone the whole time. Vamshi was not to be deterred and Vehd's commitment for us to bike again kept him going. I continue to be amazed by the flexible, forgiving memory of a child. Vehd had already forgotten the horrifying day when Vamshi met with the accident. Vamshi had joined Vehd's wide-eyed excitement to move forward. I walked by them, my heart still shaking every time they were both out on the bike. There was no looking back. How could you look back? A 3 year-old was paving the way for you to charge forth, bike under your bottom, to save penguins, to stop the snow from melting!
Vamshi did the RAMROD within a year of his near fatal accident. Watching Vamshi receive the prized blue RAMROD t-shirt inspired Vehd. The next morning, he got up and asked what it would mean to get that same t-shirt.
"You need to earn it!"
"How can I earn it? I can't do the RAMROD yet."
"Well, how about a different long ride?"
"How about I ride around Green Lake all in one go?"
"That sounds like a fair way to earn this t-shirt."
"Lets go now!"
"Boys, we are hosting a party for 50 people this afternoon! Are you really going to leave all this preparation and head out for a bike ride? Vehd has never ridden around more than half of Green Lake! Really, we need to work on this preparation."
"We are going! We have to!", they chimed back in chorus.
"Fine. I am going with you then and we'll do this preparation when you are all done." I wondered if Vehd would make it around. Would it break his heart if he didn't? But, Vehd was not asking any of those questions. He had no doubt in his mind. How do children have such confidence? To do something you've never done before and to believe you just can!
"This is my RAGLOD -- Ride Around Green Lake in One Day. Off we go!", he said instead. He did ride around Green Lake all in one go, that morning.
Vehd's love for penguins took a new direction the following year. In the summer of 2011, he set up lemonade stands. He wanted to collect money to save the penguins. His portable lemonade stand traveled to our many summer picnics. Then, in the summer of 2012, he asked his grandparents to buy him a new bike so he could learn to ride like a grown-up. Balance bike aside, he committed himself to his new bike.
And that brings us close to today. Vehd pulled out his "penguin money" a few weeks ago. He had collected $22 from setting up lemonade stands for two years. He and I wrote to friends to find an organization committed to penguins. Raising a child is indeed a communal act. Three of our friends wrote back with suggestions ranging from the WWF, an organization in the Galapagos and a small, local group in New Zealand. We wrestled with questions of whether to donate the money to a local or a global organization. Vehd couldn't make sense of these questions. He really wondered whether bigger organizations would have broader impact. I did too. We educated ourselves on how the money was used by the organizations.
The idea that a local organization where local volunteers were working with Yellow-eyed Penguins stirred Vehd's little heart.
"Lets send the money to Katiki Point Penguin Trust. But, can we do something mainly for the Yellow-eyed Penguins?"
"Yes, looks like we can sponsor one with the money you've collected."
"Why don't you and Vamshi contribute too?"
"That's called Fund Matching."
"Yes, match my contribution. $22, $22, $22 -- $66 in all and three Yellow-eyed Penguins. Do it!"
So, this May we sent $66 to Katiki Point Penguin Trust.
Vehd continues to ride his bike. His goal this summer is to ride 21 miles -- 7 times around Green Lake seems like a good long ride.
I think so.
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