The pursuit of just "being myself" continues. I have come to realize that one of the keys to being yourself is by facing your fears. Fears prevent you from being yourself. They make you put up a guard and not be honest. They make you insecure. So, I have been trying to face up to my fears one-by-one. You might wonder what kind of zombie I am going to turn into as I go through them but you know what, I think they are all tied. They are all tied along a single basic thread so really I am battling one basic fear. It feels liberating just to come to be aware of your base fear(s).
On an 8 mile run this morning, my mind wandered to what happens when you start becoming aware of your fears. Do you become confident or are you then arrogant? I have often confused the two. In fact, I feel that many a times, I havent overcome my fears because I fear that overcoming them will make me arrogant. And, I associate a negative value with arrogance. As I muddled through confidence v/s arrogance, I made some interesting observations …
Confidence to me is a state of being self-assured with openness. Openness to changing your mind and being told otherwise. In a confident being, there is no attachment to any idea, ideaology, opinion or image. It is a comfortable state of mind, one in which there is the presence of observations and insights and less so the existence of opinions. Such a state of mind is not threatened when presented with opposing points of view. It is a free state of mind.
Arrogance on the other hand is a defensive state of mind. A state of being in which there is an attachment to specific ideas, ideaologies, opinions and images. When presented with opposing views, such a state of mind will respond with a confrontational reaction. It is not accepting. It is insecure and hence defensive.
The external manifestations of being confident v/s arrogant can be subtle to the unobservant. However, the differences run deep and are diagrammatically opposite. One is a state of mind that doesn’t seek security and the other; one that seeks security so desparately that it is always suffering from the lack of it.
Very insightful observation
Posted by: SS | February 20, 2009 at 10:23 PM