Being yourself

attached, already?

I am experiencing a very new feeling these days. When I leave the house and get into the car, I often feel like I have forgotten the baby at home and then I realize that it is with me, right here, within me. I am hugely relieved when I realize that. The first few times this happened, I didn't even realize how new, strange and even absurd this might seem. It was just second nature for me to know that the baby was with me. It happened again this evening and it struck me how unusual this might be. I wonder if these are the first few obvious signs of being attached to the baby, already?!

letting go

I wonder how many people there are out there that share this with me -- I am someone who has a very hard time starting something and then not seeing it to finish. When I pick something to do, I tend to get very focused on it and end up making a commitment to myself about it, in addition to whatever else I commit to other people. Vamshi often says that I simply zero in and hammer on the project until it is done. This kind of commitment, I believe has brought me many fulfilling life experiences, however, it has it's down sides. The most obvious one being that it makes me very obsessive and unbalanced at times. The other huge down side is that it makes it very, very hard for me to pull out of a project when it becomes clear that I need to. I experienced this again this week, in needing to pull out of my consistent efforts with the sustainability project. There is so much going on in my life that I simply cannot make time to work on it consistently. What's more, I made a commitment to one of my students to work with him on it and he thrives on this kind of project. It finally came to a head where I realized that I was going to compromise my mental peace and health if I did not pull out right away. So I did. I am relieved but still struggling to accept my decision. I really wonder why I have such a hard time letting go ...

news fast

I just realized that I have very unconsciously been on a news fast for several weeks, perhaps a few months now. I will occassionally tune into NPR, but I am no longer seeking out news on the internet, in magazines or in any other way. This makes me feel out of touch in many ways. I tend to seek and want to listen to international news a lot. On the other hand, I have found myself more present to my existence, more aware of my being and less worried. I don't know if the two are connected. I am craving news again so I will be tuning back into my regular reading right away. It will be interesting to see if my state of mind changes in any way.

who knows about nose?

see my friend shannon inspired me into a lot of things when i was at Microsoft. at one point, she inspired me to go to africa and walk 75 miles to raise money for HIV vacccinne research. now, in england, she continues to inspire me. last year she inspired me into doing a triathlon. while i am ever amazed by all the sort of bigger things she has inspired me to do, she also inspires me in smaller ways. her quibble over buying recipe books with her husband has led me to share my most recent quibble with vamshi. all of you out there, decide, who "knows/nose" better?!

vamshi remarked this morning by saying,"oh, my nose is way better than yours". while i am no runway model with my looks, i do think i have a decent nose, one that can at least meet vamshi's head on, face-to-face, right there, you know?! remarks of the kind vamshi made don't go unnoticed in our household -- they are argued and discussed. i just don't think he has a better nose. as we both stared in the mirror this morning admiring our individual noses, our arguments got weaker and weaker.

so, i leave it for the world to decide -- which of us has a better nose, you all? check out the some of the pictures to decide for yourself!

"i am here"!

...says the little one within me, not in so many words but in as many kicks. I have in my womb what seems to be a very active being. It kicks pretty much all the time, often the kicks are so strong they startle me. There seems to be a little bit of a pattern to the kicking, it being most pronounced before meals, when my blood sugar level is lower and the little one is restless, then, after I have eaten and it has so much more energy and when I am resting, so it can move around easily without being jostled around with all my movements. I am thoroughly enjoying all the kicking. It's a little dance between the two of us -- we are communicating, in a way words cannot convey. PS: the photo with this post is not of me

going big

The students at PSCS keep me smiling in many ways. Often it is because they are being truly who they are and often that comes in the form of them following their passions. Here's a story from this week along those lines.

In the summer of 2005, I was sitting on the admissions committee, interviewing a purple-haird, boyish faced 15 year old whose sister had graduated from PSCS. Kent, who came to PSCS for the year 2005-06 became quite the presence at PSCS. Ever jovial, never afraid to speak, walking the talk of PSCS, he instantly became a leader and a much loved student. Mid-way through the year he declared his lifelong dream - to be a chef! What's more he said he wasn't going to wait around to make that happen for himself. So, he looked into culinary art schools around the country and found the Western Culinary Arts School in Portland, based on Cordon Bleu in France. He then pursued their application procedure and before the year was out, was accepted as the youngest ever applicant.

Kent is completing a year at Culinary Art School now and recently started looking around for an internship. What better way to do that than to return to Seattle for the summer and what could be better than interning at Canlis (top 10 restaurant in Seattle and #19 in the US)? So, Kent applied to Canlis. When he showed up for his interview, the chef asked him how long he could stay, to which, Kent, true to his style responded with something close to, "I will be here until you ask me to leave". He worked the shift starting early afternoon that day well into the night, finishing at 1 am. This was followed by an interview with the chef and sous chef, and that, with the acceptance to be working as an intern at Canlis this summer. I wonder if he is the youngest intern Canlis has ever had?!

Kent's story symbolises in many ways, what we believe naturally happens when children are loved, motivated, inspired and challenged in a caring environment. They tend to come in touch with their inner selves, from which arises the act of walking a path of courage, conviction and dedication, towards their biggest dreams. The usual norms of society that factor in age, diplomas and other constraints, fall by the wayside for such youth. They are after their dreams and nobody can stop them.

And, the stories that come from this not that unbelievable. Afterall, isn't the richest man in the world a Harvard drop out?